I remember packing my son Ben's lunch for his first day of preschool. I wanted it to be perfect. I put some goldfish in Tupperware. Then, I worried. What if his tiny three-year-old fingers couldn't open the container? I wouldn't be there to open it for him. What if he was too shy to ask a teacher for help? He wouldn't be able to have the comfort of his favorite snack. I cried a little as I watched this scene play out in my mind. 

Last week, I cried again, as I packed Ben up for his first year of college. I labeled everything meticulously. I wanted it to be perfect. I conformed completely to the what-to-pack and what-not-to-pack lists. Everything he needed. Nothing he didn't need. 

The day we dropped him off, we unpacked and all my planning and labeling proved worthwhile -- until something wasn't perfect. There were no hangers. We'd been told not to bring hangers. Hangers would be provided. Except they weren't. How could he embark on his college journey without hangers? 

We looked for someone to ask. We googled. Never mind the fact that Ben has about two things that need to be hung up. He's a T-shirt and gym shorts kind of guy. Never mind that the consequences of not having hangers are... non-existent? 

Ben, in his wisdom, put his hand on my shoulder, and said, "I can handle it. I'll find hangers." I looked up at him unsure, and he said, "I got it." 

Translation: "Mom, you gotta let go." 

And I did. I left him in his hanger-less dorm room to find his way. 

I know other parents out there can relate to the desire to control how our kids' lives go. Of course, we can't nor should we. Nevertheless, the impulse to clear the path stirs in the heart center.  

How can I soothe this stirring when I can't make him a meal, give him a ride, proofread his homework? As with all things, I turn to Kundalini Yoga. I've felt too unsettled over the last couple of days to sit and practice, even though I know it would help. But what I can manage from this tradition I love is mantra. 

The mantra that I gravitate toward in this transitional moment is Sat Narayan, the mantra for going with the flow.  Now, I know that the phrase "going with the flow" sounds trivial in a hippy kind of way. But going with the flow is anything but trivial. With whatever arrives on our doorstep -- sending a child to college, moving, the death of a loved one, huge success, financial difficulty, new love, divorce, any of life's ups and downs -- if we accept what is and feel peace, we are winning the game of life. 

Sat Narayan guides me with its sacred vibration into that acceptance and peace, going with the flow. When I chant Sat Narayan, I connect to an undercurrent of sustenance, rivers of teachings which bypass my intellect and go right to my soul.

Even if my mind is jumping and questioning and negative, if I stay with it and keep chanting, I begin to receive. I'm like a fussy baby protesting and squirming at first but with time the rocking brings deep comfort. Chanting is the rocking and rocker's heartbeat. With mantra, I soothe myself. I rely on my path, as I let Ben go to discover his own. 

You can find a link to samples of my favorite versions of Sat Narayan in the comments below. What mantra soothes you? Please let us know in the comments below.

May we all feel sustained through all the ups and downs of life. May the truth in you guide you.

​Sat Nam.

Cate discovered Kundalini Yoga by accident over 20 years ago and was surprised and thrilled by how engaged, energized, and inspired it made her feel. She's been practicing ever since. In 2008, Cate completed her Level 1 (200 hr) teacher training with Hari Kaur Khalsa of Hari NYC. In 2012, she broadened her knowledge with a very special Holistic Hatha Yoga training (300 hr) with Amy Witmyer of Sacred Space. Kundalini Yoga is her home, her go-to sanctuary, her point of peace and insight. She believes that it is a wonderful tool for busy times and busy minds. Join Cate on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday mornings for Kundalini Yoga & Meditation. ​

 

In honor of Yogi Bhajan's birthday, I'd like to spend some time with some of his words. I've chosen three favorite quotes to highlight here. They're favorites because they are at once simple, beautiful, profound, and shifting. Just a few words can shift my mental state, my outlook, my emotions.

​I'll begin with "Go within. Or go without." I used to have this one on my refrigerator as a many-times-a-day reminder. If I don't take the time to be in the here and now with my inner world, I miss the most important aspect of life, re-discovering my Truth, my path, my purpose, my reason for being.

​When I ignore what's within, I suffer. Sometimes, I'm tempted to distract myself instead of recognizing difficult emotions like uncertainty or fear or pain. And sometimes, I give into that temptation. But I aim to witness and listen. I know to witness and listen because it's in those meditative moments when the voice of my soul emerges with an insight or beautiful sense of peace. Simple, beautiful, profound, shifting. 

Another quote that I absolutely love is: "I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them." That one always makes me smile. It's a whole approach to life in two sentences. Life is miraculous, so dependably miraculous that you can rely on it. In the same way that I can rely on there being air to breathe, I can rely on miracles.

If I'm having a day when it seems nothing is going right, I can go to these words and suddenly I'm grateful for it all -- the broken umbrella, the dent in my fender, the curdled milk. Simple, beautiful, profound, shifting.
​

One more. The one I repeat the most when I am teaching. "Keep up and you will be kept up." I'm in good company with many, many Kundalini Yoga teachers who shout these words out to encourage students. Sometimes it's just "Keep up." That says it all.

Keep up. Don't give up. Don't give up on yourself. Don't give up on the next breakthrough before you get there. Keep up. 

Keep your arms in the air, despite the discomfort. Hold your legs up, despite the shaking. Stay focused, despite the desire to tune out. 

And you will be kept up. The effort, the intention, the staying steady in the midst of the storm primes us for life, for thriving in life. Simple, beautiful, profound, shifting. 

Thank you, Yogi Bhajan, for the teachings and your words. They've changed my life. In many ways, they've become my life. 

Now, I'd love to hear from you. What's your favorite Yogi Bhajan quote? Let us know in the comments below. 
​

Cate discovered Kundalini Yoga by accident over 20 years ago and was surprised and thrilled by how engaged, energized, and inspired it made her feel. She's been practicing ever since. In 2008, Cate completed her Level 1 (200 hr) teacher training with Hari Kaur Khalsa of Hari NYC. In 2012, she broadened her knowledge with a very special Holistic Hatha Yoga training (300 hr) with Amy Witmyer of Sacred Space. Kundalini Yoga is her home, her go-to sanctuary, her point of peace and insight. She believes that it is a wonderful tool for busy times and busy minds. Join Cate on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday mornings for Kundalini Yoga & Meditation. ​

I love Kundalini Yoga. It was love at first chant.

About three years ago I took my first Kundalini class with Cate Baily. I had just made some major breakthroughs in my life. After spending many years in the darkness, I was in the light again. Kundalini just felt so right and exactly what I needed to maintain my happiness. I kept taking classes and taking classes. I couldn’t get enough!  I took classes with Savitri. She talked about spirit and the world most of us know nothing about. I was fascinated by her outlook on spiritual life.

I studied every night. I must have watched hundreds of Yogi Bhajan videos on YouTube. The more I watched, the more I loved Kundalini. I was like a person who hadn’t eaten for days. I couldn’t get enough knowledge into my brain fast enough. I wanted to know more!

Cate turned out to be my mentor and spirit guide. When I asked for advice on my practice, she willingly helped guide me in the right direction. She gave me my first 40 day practice, Meditation for a Calm Heart. She gave me songs and artists to listen to. She explained everything I had questions about. Cate's love of this practice was infectious. Watching her at our first Sat Nam Fest together was inspiring. The joy in her face as we took classes and went to concerts was beautiful to see. The first time I saw Snatam Kaur perform “The Long Time Sun” (See the link to the song in the comments.) I was overwhelmed with such joy. The tears were flowing from both of us.

We went to Sat Nam Fest again the next year, and this time I stayed the entire 5 days. Wow! I met so many amazing people. I met all the artists that perform the music I love, and I took pictures with all of them. Cate always teases me that I’m going to publish a coffee table book with all picture of me and the artists. I do it so I can remember the bliss I felt at the time.

After coming home from Sat am Fest, it was obvious what I had to do next. Teacher training. As Yogi Bhajan said, “If you want to learn something, read about it. If you want to understand something, write about it. If you want to master something, teach it.” Then came a sign from the universe: Hari Kaur was coming to Montclair Kundalini Yoga to do teacher training!  Hari worked directly with Yogi Bhajan for ten years as director of teacher training. Yogi Bhajan said “ I don’t believe in miracles, I rely on them” This was my miracle. Who else but Hari could I learn from? So I signed up.

In November 2018, I started my journey to become a Kundalini Yoga Teacher. Hari, and the great Dharma Devi led the training. Our class was relatively small. 13 women and me. But it turned out for the best. We became a family. We cried and laughed together. We celebrated our accomplishments together, and most importantly, we supported each other. Guest teachers came and were so giving with their knowledge of the practice. The months flew by. We all did our practicums for each other, and it really felt like we were almost there, teachers.

When we all went as a group to White Tantric Yoga (a day-long meditation event), that took things to the next level. We rented a bus so we could all be together. This was such a powerful part of our training, and we were all very moved by it.

When we all graduated in June, it was like a dream. We all went to lunch together to celebrate our accomplishment. At the end of the last class together with Hari, she brought us all in close and had us close our eyes. I will never forget her next words. “I bless you all now as teachers.”  Tears were flowing.

When I taught my first class, some  of my classmates came to support me. Friends from Montclair Kundalini yoga came. After the final blessing, when I arose from bowing, tears flowed again.  I am a teacher. It still gives me a little chill when I say that to myself.

This past week many of us went to Sat Nam Fest together. This was my third year there. But this year was very different. I went with the eyes, ears and heart of a teacher. It was like watching a movie in a language you don’t understand. You enjoy the movie, but don’t entirely get it. Then you watch it again with subtitles and you get it. Classes I took and the words of the teachers now were so much clearer to me. Some of the words used that I had heard before, now had power. I knew the philosophy behind them.  Yogi Amandeep said “The one who knows how to hold the breath, knows how to hold life.”  I understand totally. In training, we learned all about breath and it’s importance. About the body locks. All so important and critical to this practice. The wonderful Gurmukh said “ Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged.” I understood. A common thread through all the presenters was childhood. Why are people attracted to babies? Because they are pure. Pure light. As we grow up and lose our true self, our Sat Nam, we lose sight  of our pure light. We still have it inside us. Its just buried deep. Kundalini Yoga teaches us to find it again, to go back to our Sat Nam.

One of the other great things about my Sat Nam experience this year was meeting people who I have only known online. I have a Facebook page "Friends Who Like Montclair Kundalini Yoga"  (Link to it here and join). I post quotes from Yogi Bhajan, or something inspirational every day.  I love doing it, and many people share and comment on the posts. I got to meet many of them in person at SNF! Another miracle. New friendships were made, old ones were strengthened. I could have floated home instead of driving the 3 hours.

So that’s my journey. But it’s really only the very start. I look forward to teaching more and more and sharing my love of this practice. I just want to go deeper and deeper.
​
I’m still hungry.

I'd love to hear from you. What is your journey? How did you find Kundalini Yoga? Please share in the comments below.
​

It is an understatement to say that Andy is very excited to begin his Kundalini Yoga teaching career at Montclair Kundalini Yoga. His journey toward becoming a spiritual teacher began with the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz which offers a philosophical framework for living. The book literally saved his life and brought him joy and happiness. Soon after finding this book, he discovered Kundalini Yoga. He was instantly hooked and began studying and deepening his practice with the guidance of Cate and Savitri at Montclair Kundalini Yoga. Andy likes to say, "When I finished The Four Agreements, the light came back into my life. When I found Kundalini, that light went to technicolor."  Andy recently graduated from 200 hour teacher training with Hari Kaur and Dharma Devi.  His love of this practice and life is very deep and evident in his presence at the studio. Always learning from the master, Andy posts daily quotes from Yogi Bhajan on the Facebook group he manages, Friends Who Like Montclair Kundalini Yoga. Join him on Thursday nights for Kundalini Yoga & The Four Agreements. ​

I was 10 or so and thrilled to be with my cousins for the day. With them, there was no self-consciousness, no hesitation. I could be myself, and I even had a bit of bravado as the oldest cousin. The day’s plan: Have a touristy time at the Statue of Liberty with my larger-than-life, super-fun uncle leading the way. I don’t remember if I cared about the ferry ride or Lady Liberty — probably not. I was with people who loved me and there was an exuberant safety in that.

I felt on top of the world, and it had nothing to do with climbing the 354 steps to the crown because I don’t even remember if we did. It had to do with my heart. An open and free heart is the top of the world.

At some point, we went for lunch at the crowded cafe. With no tables available, we found a ledge above the fray where we kids could perch while my uncle waited on line for our food. Just below us, stressed, exhausted adults with furrowed brows wove around each other with their brown plastic trays. We watched the scene below us, contentedly. Then, I got a “brilliant” idea.

A pinched-faced woman with a severe bun (or maybe she’s become that caricature in my memory over the years) walked by trying to balance an overflowing tray. I thought, “I’m going to make my people laugh. I can always make them laugh.”

“Watch this,” I said to my cousins. “I’m going to do something.” I reached out as if to steal a soda from the woman’s tray. My cousins’ eyes widened. It was a scandalous and thrilling action. I enjoyed showing off. But then…

…the woman stopped in her tracks and looked right at me: “What are you doing?” I don’t know what I’d expected her reaction to be or if I even thought that part through, but she was NOT amused.

Mortified. Momentarily mute. Blood rushed to my face. Please walk away. Please walk away. Please walk away. I silently prayed. But she held my deer-in-the-headlights gaze. Finally, I managed to stammer, “Just joking.”

“Joke with yourself!” she spat and huffed away.

Joke with yourself. My spirit plummeted.  My heart closed a little. Joke with yourself. Don't try to be funny. Keep it all in.

That moment when my feeling of freedom diminished was just one of many "assaults" throughout my life to my identity, to my belief that I am loved and accepted, to my willingness to take risks and put myself out there. Those moments are commonplace in childhood. Aren't they?

This is why I need Kundalini Yoga. I need it to reclaim my liberty, my free, open, top-of-the-world inner self. I need to sit tall in my truth, roll my shoulders up, back, and down, lift my heart and feel supported in who I am. I need the repetition of Sat Nam Sat Nam Sat Nam. I need to connect to my breath. I need to meditate to restore my Self, return to myself.

This is why I think we all need a practice. No matter how charmed a childhood we had and adulthood we lead, we encounter people who reject what we project; we store little shocks to the system along the way which seem to be a sign that we are not good enough.

If your karma is a hard karma and your story includes truly harsh treatment, injustice, devastating loss or any of the many things that are more painful than a humorless woman making a nasty comment a practice is also a cure. Wherever we fall on the spectrum of harm a practice is a cure.

EVERY meditation speaks to the need to fortify our psyche and rebuild and reconnect to the aspect of the Self which is True. But there’s one Kundalini meditation in particular that speaks to it quite directly: Meditation to Experience & Project the Original Self.

The Original Self is your Sat Nam, True Identity. What is your True Identity? You know it, even if you don’t know you know it. It’s the deepest part of you, the aspect that knows your right from your wrong — even when you can’t find the words. It’s the essence of you that never picked up anyone else’s expectations or disappointments. It’s your untainted, quiet center. It’s your confident, fearless, open heart.

Practice this meditation for 40 days to become one with the original you, the you you came here to be. Reclaim your liberty. Here’s how:

Meditation to Experience & Project the Original Self

1. Sit tall. Place your left arm up parallel to the ground with the elbow bent, hand in front of your heart center with your palm facing down. Place your right arm out to the side with the elbow bent, palm facing forward, and hand in gyan mudra (thumb and pointer finger meeting). (See the image with my bio below for the full posture.) 
2. Close your eyes and chant Ram Ram Hari Ram, Ram Ram Hari Hari. (I love Snatam Kaur’s version. See the link in the comments section below.) Continue for 11-31 minutes.
3. To finish, inhale and hold the breath and the posture for 20-30 seconds if you can. Exhale, maintaining the arm position. Inhale and hold the breath and the posture again. Exhale, relax, and sit in silence.

Commit to it. Commit to shedding all the cranky lady comments and reconnecting to your open, free heart. It is one of the most important endeavors of all.

AND … Don’t be disapproving with children. Smile and accept them as they are — even if it’s a bad joke in a stressful moment.

What are your thoughts? I'd love to hear from you. What meditation helps you feel that you are coming home to yourself?

Cate discovered Kundalini Yoga by accident over 20 years ago and was surprised and thrilled by how engaged, energized, and inspired it made her feel. She's been practicing ever since. In 2008, Cate completed her Level 1 (200 hr) teacher training with Hari Kaur Khalsa of Hari NYC. In 2012, she broadened her knowledge with a very special Holistic Hatha Yoga training (300 hr) with Amy Witmyer of Sacred Space. Kundalini Yoga is her home, her go-to sanctuary, her point of peace and insight. She believes that it is a wonderful tool for busy times and busy minds. Join Cate on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday mornings for Kundalini Yoga & Meditation. ​